To an empty packet of Amber leaf
Were you using me, or l you?
Looking back its hard to tell
So close I was defined by you
Friends invited me and got you too
Made adjustments to their plans
for our relationship, accepted you
As part of me. And you were
Part of Me. Bad news, girlfriend
Rebellion sucked in at every breath
Two fingers lifting in the air
You were festivals and fiesches. Vodka
in the kitchen and hours on the phone
You were writing, ashtray by the keyboard
sparking up when words came wrong
At midnight you gave streetlight
All its meaning, smoke gives
light its shape, and you were comfort
In the lonely hours. I reached for you
And I can still remember how the room
Smelt, your tang upon my fingers and
How in mornings you would catch
Me with a jolt, turn my legs to jelly
As I felt you running through my
Veins, until you hit my brain and
I grew dizzy with the need of you
and I can still remember
The sound of metal as it hits the flint
The spark, the smell of gas, the flash
As I ignited you, drew in to lungs
That knew they hated you
To a stitch upon my side. A rasp
Upon my throat. A pain within my centre
A fear of you that lived sideways
To my love. My bad news passion
I was defined by need of you and still
I miss the way you made me feel
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